(Source: leilockheart)

The other day, my mom bought me an orange tank top, she came home overly excited to show me what she’s got and she asked me to try it on. My reaction was like, ha-ha “is that for me” then she told me that she taught my favorite color was orange, GOD!! I HATE ORANGE!! I never liked it and I never will!

So anyway, I know this is just a very small deal, but it was only tonight that I realized that If my mom doesn’t even know my favorite color, what does she know about me? I mean -yeah she raised me and all, but things are different now, I changed. Now I’m thinking, if my own mom, my parent’s (practically my family) doesn’t know anything about me, -then who really knows me?

I admit that I don’t have the ideal relationship with my parents and siblings. I’m not really that open in telling things to them- so yeah maybe it’s my fault. I’m the kind of person who’s very vocal and open that I say anything that’s on my mind. I think that I’m open-to my friends, only to the people closest to me and I trust the most.But now, I’m starting to doubt if somebody really knows the real me.-because there are times that I question myself too. 

you know what I think I’m really going crazy, I’ve got lots of things in my mind right now, and I feel that I am not in a good state to handle all of them. Maybe I just need someone who knows me enough to help me think and handle the things that I’m going through. BUT(again) I may seem to be open to the people around me but there’s this little world inside my mind that I just can’t seem to understand- I don’t even now how to put them in words. everything’s just so chaotic inside me.